“These are called the pious frauds of friendship.”

Sometimes I wonder really who I can actually call friends. I may be a bit too free and easy with that term, I don’t know if it’s because I’d like people to be my friends or if it’s just cause I’m pathetic (those are probably the same thing really) I just thought about it last night though. There are people I call friends that make no effort to actually be my friend. We see each other around and that’s it. Then there are people who actually want to hang out, talk, you know care about what happens to me. Shit I have strangers who have shown more concern for me than some people I actually know. And I have friends that I may not hang out with all the time but I know are there for me anyway (like my Grovies) I don’t know, this needs some thinking about………


~ by Caroline on February 17, 2007.

5 Responses to ““These are called the pious frauds of friendship.””

  1. I am quite free with the word “friends” as well. I know who I can count on, I know who can be there for me. Overall, I think its far too strenous to figure out who is in and out of my list. The meaningful relationships come naturally.
    I would like to get to know you better actually. I think that you’re far cooler than many people I call friends. I like your enthusiasm and your sincerity; particularly, that you actually care about things like the goth scene and getting to know others, which I can respect.
    Hey, come steal some music from us, you’re welcome any time. We have far too much music that we download (as sometimes buy) and don’t get to sample 😉

    • That was me btw 😀

    • thank you 😀 I think the same thing, we really should hang out(besides Seizure) but I know you are busy with work and stuff. I figure I’ll be more mobile once the weather gets better as well. Colleen and I are planning some type of get together/housewarming party eventually but I think we both want the house to look better, she still has stuff to unpack and we have painting and curtains and things, but you and Matt are def invited, that’s a no-brainer 🙂 Anyway hopefully I will see you at Seizure and we can talk more about in person, I’m better at that than typing.
      Thank you for the offer of music, I often feel like I don’t know as much music as I should, and it bothers me. I like learning about new music, but I also notice I am getting more discerning since I know people who are knowledgeable about music, although Johnny still intimidates me but I’ll get over it 🙂

  2. Good Quote, btw…
    I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “There are people I call friends that make no effort to actually be my friend.” Effort – meeting folks halfway at least, is for me the dividing line between ‘friend’ and ‘somebody I know’.
    I’ve let a lot of so-called ‘friendships’ fall away in the last year for that reason. Too many people I know only called or emailed me with a kind of “Hey, I miss you a lot! By the way, I’m having some problems with my PC – can you fix it for me?” Fuck that.
    The other situation I found myself in was being someone’s confidant when they never had the time to reciprocate and listen to ME once in a while. Anyone who knows me well knows I HATE (to a thousand decimal places) talking on the phone, yet they’d call just to have someone to unburden on. The last time this happened, I got all shrew on them, and said, “Hon, we’ve been over this at least three times before, and you never listen to my advice, so take it to a therapist…I can’t fix you.” I have the patience of three saints, but people just wear me out.
    We’re your Grove and I’d like to think we’re family for each other, even if we don’t see each other but once or twice a month. You’re worth the time because it’s mutual — it’s a conversation, and there’s real effort to communicate there from all of us. And hey, I happen to think you’re a very cool person, and glad to count you as my friend, Caroline. 🙂

    • Re: Good Quote, btw…
      man I’m getting all blushy now 😉 Thank you! 😀 I’m glad you and Chris and everyone are my friends too! (no interpretive dance for once thing heh heh…:P)

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